Shhhh! OS
by xSirenSongx
Summary: Alice steals Bella away two week before the wedding. How are Bella and Edward supposed to cope with this separation? Simple, they send emails and make their own chat room. Just a simple one-shot of cuteness.


I don't own anything Twilight. Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. I'm just playing around with her creation.

**Shhhh!**

It was a tremendously long two weeks until the scheduled wedding of one Isabella Marie Swan to one Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Everything was planned, fitted, pinned and prodded for the big day. Everyone had tried to rein Alice in and to not go overboard with her planning. Well that idea had failed miserably.

A few ours ago thee afore mentioned demon pixie had whisked Bella away in the early morning hours while Edward was out hunting. Now Bella was sitting in a hotel suite, arms crossed, eyes burning holes into Alice.

"So what is your reason for kidnapping me? And it had better be good." Bella's tone hid none of the frustration and anger her body was emitting.

Alice busied herself with arranging the flowers the way _she_ liked them. "I'm preparing you for your honeymoon. If you're not around my charming brother for two weeks just think about how your honeymoon will play out."

Bella growled at Alice's assumption that their wedding night would be anything but amazing. One virginal eighteen year old meets one virginal one-hundred and five year old, right, no fireworks there. If Alice honestly thought their honeymoon wouldn't be exciting then she needed a course in sex education.

"You do realize by doing this we might not even make it to the vows," Bella snapped back as she scowled at her soon to be sister.

The bouncy sprite just blew air out between her lips making a sound much like a horse as she scoffed at Bella. "Everything will be fine, trust me, I know. I may even blindfold your mom so she can visit before the big day." She then winked at her victim then went into the other room to double check the clothes she had brought.

"If the separation bugs you that much than use the laptop on the table and send Edward an email," did she really expect an email could suffice her need for the real thing?

After thinking for a moment, she surrendered and investigated the small computer. She quickly logged in to her email and proceeded to send Edward an email.

**To: EdwardAMC**

**From: BMSwan**

**Subject: Demon Pixie**

**I'm so sorry, your sister kidnapped me while you were out hunting and I was still asleep. I was so out of it I thought it was you holding me, my bad. I have no idea where I am and Alice said I can't leave till the day of the wedding, she's even joking about blindfolding Renee to bring her here. She also left my phone at home on purpose. Would it be alright if I disowned your sister?**

**I miss you so much and it hasn't even been a whole day yet. How in the world am I going to make it through two weeks with out you? Please give me some advice on how to cope without you for so long.**

**Love forever,**

**B**

She hit send just as she heard Alice prance back into the room. "Feel better now that you got to communicate in some way with him?"

"HA and just how is that supposed to make me feel better? Just how are you going to handle not having Jasper around for two weeks?" Alice's whole body became motionless as her eyes darted nervously to Bella. As soon as she said the words, she realized the answer for herself. Bella stood up to confront the small girl better. "Not fair! You're going to sneak off and see him. Hell no! If I can't see Edward what gives you the right to see Jasper? If you want to see him you'll have to let me go." She opened her mouth to refute Bella's command. "And don't say you have to go hunting, I know how long you can go between feedings, and you'll be fine."

Now it was Alice's turn to glare. Bella had caught her in her little scheme and now she was getting a taste of her own medicine. Alice huffed miserably then stomped over to the couch to watch the television.

Bella sat back down into the chair and seemed to deflate across the tabletop. She nearly fell out of the chair when the laptop pinged, indicating there was a new email. She immediately checked and it was what she was hoping for.

**To: BMSwan**

**From: EdwardAMC**

**Subject: Revenge**

**I miss you terribly as well. Had I known what Alice was planning I never would have let it happen. She must have been planning it while I was away from her, damn it. I'll gladly join you in disowning her for this.**

**Just after I received your email, Jasper let slip a thought about meeting Alice tomorrow night while she 'hunts'. Maybe you could distract her somehow to prevent that. We are definitely going to have to come up with some sort of revenge on the demon pixie for doing this to us.**

**Love always and forever,**

**E**

Bella stared across the room at the pouting elfling in her designer clothing as she tried to come up with a course of action then she went about sending a reply.

**To: EdwardAMC**

**From: BMSwan**

**Subject: Caught**

**Before getting your email, I had already caught Alice in her little scheme to meet Jasper. I've already told her if I had to be away from you for two weeks than she can stay away from Jasper as well. If she wants to see him then she would have to let me see you. She's pouting at the TV right now.**

**She says she stole me away to prepare me for our honeymoon. As if we would need the eagerness of separation to make things interesting. I told her that when I finally get back there we might not make it to the vows because of her actions.**

**Love forever,**

**B**

She leaned back in her seat as she hit send, satisfied in her plan to keep the fairy and the general apart. In a matter of two minutes, the laptop dinged again implying another email and it wasn't who I was expecting.

**To: BMSwan**

**From: GeneralJaz**

**Subject: Very Cruel**

**You are truly a cruel creature, Swan. However, if you two have to endure the separation, I can understand your reasoning in keeping us apart we can also. Please note that this was Alice's idea entirely, I had no part in this except agreeing to meet her, which you thwarted.**

**You are definitely going to be an interesting opponent when you're a vampire and I can't wait to see the results.**

**Jaz**

Had Jasper snatched the computer from Edward in order to send her an email? Edward had been right in stating 'you can't trust vampires'.

"Okay Bella, time for bed," sang the annoying elf as she jumped up from the couch.

Bella's eyes shot from the computer to her soon to be sister-in-law with a death glare then she turned her head back to the laptop. "I won't be able to sleep without Edward here – he keeps me just the right temperature at night."

Alice whimpered then sighed and turned off the TV. "Alright fine, I'll lay with you instead."

Bella smirked as she sent Edward a goodnight email then quickly threw on her pajamas and climbed into bed. Alice rolled her eyes when Bella wrapped her arm around her waist.

"You're going to watch me while we're here aren't you?" her voice was low with a hint of hurt.

Bella smiled sweetly up at her before closing her eyes. "Like a hawk!"

_**~***~**_

The next morning after a shower and a hot breakfast of waffles Bella was back on the computer. Edward had sent her another email while she slept last night and she was giddy to find out what he had written.

**To: BMSwan**

**From: EdwardAMC**

**Subject: Solution**

**Since we'll be apart for two weeks why don't we make our own chat room? No one but us will be able to get in so it will be completely private. Go to this address http://www.******.com and put in a screen name and the password eternity and we'll be able to chat all we want.**

**Love forever and always,**

**E**

That was his solution to this problem, a chat room! Bella whined audibly and Alice turned from her fashion magazine to see what the problem was. Bella shook her head to let her know it was nothing and she was fine. After Alice returned to her magazine, Bella quickly logged in to the website and watched the screen.

**VampLover has just logged in.**

**VampLover: I miss you so much.**

**SexyVampire: I miss you too. Glad to see you found the site. Nice name.**

**VampLover: You too, since when have you been so egotistical?**

**SexyVampire: Since you've started stroking my ego by telling me how sexy I am.**

**VampLover: So it's my fault? I cannot tell a lie, especially to you. ;-P**

**SexyVampire: Of course it's your fault. You're the first person to call me sexy and not just because of my body.**

"Bella, why are you blushing?" questioned Alice from the couch.

Bella's complexion darkened at being caught red faced. "No reason, just remembering."

"Uh huh, tell Edward hi for me," she then stretched out on the couch and started comparing outfits.

**VampLover: Grrr, Alice says hi. Can I ask you for something?**

**SexyVampire: She really can be annoying can't she?**

**SexyVampire: Wait, what, you actually want to ask me for something?**

**VampLover: Shut up or I won't ask for anything anymore.**

**SexyVampire: :-X sorry, you know you can ask me for anything.**

**VampLover: After the wedding, I want our own place.**

**SexyVampire: ROFL, that's easily taken care of and gladly done.**

**VampLover: Thank you, nothing too big though.**

**SexyVampire: How about something like a small stone cottage with 2 bedrooms in the middle of the woods?**

**VampLover: Perfect but does that type of place even exist? Never mind, look whom I'm talking to.**

**SexyVampire: LOL, I'm sure I can find something.**

The chatting continued like that for the rest of the day. The only pause they took was when she had to go to the bathroom. Bella even ate her meals in front of the laptop. When it was time for Bella to go to bed Edward had informed her that he was going to be joining Jasper for a hunt.

Bella and Alice assumed the same position as the night before and Alice whined unhappily. "It's your own fault you know, you evil imp."

Alice gave her a raspberry then let her fall asleep.

_**~***~**_

Day three was pretty much the same as day two but this time Alice had taken it upon herself to try out bridal hair styles on Bella. If Alice thought that torturing Bella with makeovers was going to get her to release her to see Jasper then she wasn't as psychic as she claimed.

After nearly six hours of being pulled, teased, clipped and bobby-pinned Bella was finally free of the goblin's ministrations. Within half a heart beat Bella had seated herself in front of the laptop and clicked on the chat site.

**VampLover has logged in.**

**SexyVampire: I was wondering when you would get on.**

**VampLover: Sorry, Alice wanted to play Bella Barbie on figuring out hairstyles for the wedding.**

**SexyVampire: I could care less what your hair was like. You could show up bald and naked and I wouldn't care just as long as you did show up.**

**VampLover: O.o Well that would be a first for Forks I'm sure, but I'd rather not shave my head and I'll be naked soon enough that day.**

There was an extremely long pause and Bella was beginning to think she had lost him.

**VampLover: Are you there?**

**SexyVampire: Yes, sorry...I was having a mental image.**

**VampLover: Of me I hope.**

**SexyVampire: ......yes.**

**VampLover: LOL**

The routine between Bella and Edward's conversations continued much the same way for the next couple of days. They would compare the weather for their different locations, plan how they would enact their revenge on Alice, and fantasize about the wedding and honeymoon while Alice kept glancing over to the giddy Bella and scowled at her repeatedly.

Bella frequently caught her capture texting on her phone or whispering into it, no doubt talking with Jasper, complaining how she had become the victim.

_**~***~**_

By day seven the nerves of one human and one vampire were getting very short. Being cooped up in the hotel was taking its toll on them both.

"How about we go out? Stretch our legs and nerves."

Bella was really surprised by the pixies suggestion and sprang into the bedroom to change. Alice was waiting for her by the door with a black scarf in hand.

Bella eyed the fabric then threw her arms up as she took a step back. "Oh no you don't, I refuse to be blindfolded."

"Then we're not going out," she crossed her arms over her chest and waited impatiently for Bella to change her mind. Bella huffed unhappily then took a step toward Alice. She quickly fastened the scarf around Bella's eyes then led her out of the hotel. They climbed into a car and drove around for about an hour, going to no place specific.

The car finally stopped and Alice helped Bella out of the car then removed the blindfold. Bella blinked her eyes repeatedly as they adjusted to the light, for it being a cloudy day it was surprisingly bright.

"You brought me to a park?!" Bella stared at her disbelief. To make matters worse she didn't recognize the park. She had seriously expected Alice to take her to a mall or go shopping, somewhere where she could recognize something and have Edward come rescue her.

"And have you identifying something. I. Don't. Think. So!" Bella pouted at her soon-to-be-sister and Alice just laughed casually. "That won't work on me. I'm the queen of pouting, I'm immune."

Bella glared at the evil imp then crossed her arms over her chest as she stormed toward a bench and flumped down on it. They stayed at the park for nearly four hours, not saying a word and just glaring at each other. Alice finally gave in when Bella's stomach growled loudly.

Bella's eyes narrowed further when Alice leaned forward to replace the blind fold. An hour later, they were back in the hotel and Alice quickly ordered room service while Bella sprinted to the laptop.

**VampLover has logged in.**

**SexyVampire: Finally, my love returns.**

**VampLover: Sorry, the warden took us to a park. Unfortunately, I didn't recognize anything and she blindfolded me from and to here.**

**SexyVampire: Grrrr, is she expecting us to last another week apart?**

**VampLover: Look on the bright side, she can't see Jasper in the mean time.**

**SexyVampire: True but she has her phone, she can still hear his voice.**

**VampLover: :-( Good point. Do you have a webcam?**

**SexyVampire: I did but the little troll took it.**

Bella's food arrived and she quickly snagged a plate of vegetables while she glared at Alice then returned to her conversation with Edward.

**SexyVampire: So what are you wearing?**

Bella chocked slightly on a carrot stick as she stared at the words. Alice shot her a questioning glance over her newest Vogue magazine. Bella waved her hand at her to forget about it.

Did her Edward just ask her what she was wearing? He had never been perverse in anyway and his question was surprising. Bella couldn't believe what she was reading.

**VampLover: This had better not be Emmett!**

**SexyVampire: Of course it's not Emmett. Would Emmett know you have a beauty mark behind your right ear?**

**VampLover: Ok, good. So did you really want to know what I was wearing?**

**SexyVampire: Yes I do.**

Bella snickered at her fiancé's response. She quickly gave herself a once over before coming up with a reply.

**VampLover: Honestly…nothing.**

**SexyVampire: . Not funny! We already have another week and you feel the need to torture me further.**

**VampLover: LOL, sorry, I'm not used to you asking something like that so I thought I would tease you a little bit.**

**SexyVampire: Yes well, I do have an absolutely stunning fiancé who's always pushing the limits with me.**

**VampLover: Who's that? Why didn't you tell me you were engaged?**

**SexyVampire: HaHaHa very funny. Keep it up and I'll have to punish you.**

**VampLover: Promise?**

Bella went to sleep that night with a smile on her face as she dreamed about all the possible ways for Edward to punish her. Alice rolled her eyes and stiffened when Bella started to mutter her brother's name while holding her waist tightly.

_**~***~**_

After ten days apart Bella was getting bouncy and antsy. In only four more days she would be Mrs. Bella Cullen and despite how standoffish she seemed about the whole ceremony she couldn't be happier. Now if only she could convince the gremlin to take her home but unfortunately ten days of begging and pleading had done nothing.

Bella woke early and immediately got on the laptop.

**VampLover has logged in.**

**VampLover: Morning love.**

**SexyVampire: Morning, sleep well?**

**VampLover: Yep, I dreamed about how you would punish me if I kept teasing you.**

**SexyVampire: And that's a good thing?**

**VampLover: How I was being punished was ;-)**

**SexyVampire: Sheesh, what am I going to do with you.**

**VampLover: *-* I can think of some things.**

"Bella, you need to do one more dress fitting. Oh, tell Edward that his decision for the honeymoon is superb." Alice pounced from the closet holding the large white garment bag. Bella hung her head and shook it side to side.

**VampLover: I need to go for a bit so Alice can poke and prod me again. She says your idea for the honeymoon is superb. Where are we going?**

**SexyVampire: Nope, not telling.**

**VampLover: :-( Can I have a small hint?**

**SexyVampire: All I will tell you is things are going to get very hot.**

**VampLover: Meany :-(**

**SexyVampire: Maybe but you love me anyways.**

**VampLover: Yep, :-) Back in a bit.**

Bella reluctantly extracted herself from the only connection she had to Edward. She walked over to Alice slowly and Alice arched an eyebrow at her and started tapping her foot.

How Alice had managed to spend the last seven hours primping and altering the dress Bella couldn't begin to understand, at least she was granted bathroom breaks and allowed to eat. Bella handled the situation like a trooper, only complaining once around hour five.

Alice proclaimed she was done at dinnertime and quickly put the dress away then ordered Bella a chief salad for dinner, per her request. Bella almost literally inhaled her salad and soda then ran to the computer.

**VampLover has logged in.**

**SexyVampire: Good lord! Did she take you shopping also?**

**VampLover: (sighs) For once I wished. But no we stayed here while she made her final alteration to the dress.**

**SexyVampire: For seven hours? O.o**

**VampLover: Yes for seven hours. Did you expect anything less from the terrifying goblin?**

**SexyVampire: Well no but...seven hours! Geez.**

They had a good laugh at Alice's expense. It was pretty late by the time Bella ordered dinner then she went to bed dreaming about the love of her life. That night Alice vowed NEVER to separate Bella and Edward again, the rubbing and hugging Bella was doing in her sleep was too much for the tiny pixie to handle.

_**~***~**_

Less than two days until W-day and Bella had taken to counting down the hours, half due to her own eagerness and the other half to annoy her watchdog.

"Another 32 more hours and I'll be your sister legally." Alice's eyes narrowed as Bella began bouncing on the couch next to her. Bella giggled slightly when she saw Alice's eyebrow start to twitch. "What, do you not want me as your sister anymore?"

*Twitch*

"That's not it and you know it!" her voice was low and strained as if she was trying to hide the irritation.

Bella tilted her head to the side as she gazed at her best friend/sister. "So _what_ is the problem?"

*Twitch*

"You being so chipper, it's not natural for you. Go talk to Edward on the laptop," she continued to glare at Bella as she waved her off to the computer. Bella put on a sad face and stuck out her lower lip.

*Twitch*

"GO!" Alice shouted and pointed violently at the computer. Bella left the couch and stormed toward the table holding the laptop. She shot Alice another pitiful glance before sitting down.

*Twitch*

**VampLover has logged in.**

**VampLover: Sorry I don't think it worked but her eye is twitching a lot.**

**SexyVampire: I was afraid it wouldn't work. You actually made her eye twitch?**

**VampLover: Yep. I guess she can't stand it when someone is hyper like she is or the cheerfulness was getting to her.**

**SexyVampire: LOL well it's her fault for shanghaiing you. I would hope she will think twice before doing it again.**

**VampLover: I'm starting to think the idea of abduction won't even enter her head. So has mom and Phil arrived yet?**

**SexyVampire: A few hours ago. I told them Alice stole you away for a spa day. I don't think they would have understood if I told them my sister kidnapped you two weeks ago.**

**VampLover: (sigh) Thanks to Alice's 'little' game the time with my parents has been shortened.**

**SexyVampire: I wonder if she even thought about that before she acted?**

**VampLover: Probably not. What would be a good way to get revenge on her? Cut up her clothes?**

"DON'T. YOU. DARE!" Alice growled and glared menacingly at her from the couch.

**VampLover: :-x Guess not, if looks could kill, day-um.**

**SexyVampire: Lol, it's probably for the best though, don't want to start out eternity on a sour note.**

**VampLover: I know, I just won't go shopping with her anymore and no more Bella Barbie after the wedding.**

"Did you get that vision you troublesome imp?" Alice snarled at her and picked up her copy of Vogue.

**SexyVampire: Bet she's not very happy about that choice either.**

**VampLover: She's not but that's what she gets for reducing the time I have left with my parents. She'll have me around for eternity – the least she could have done was let me have my parents for this last two weeks.**

"Sorry," Alice hung her head sadly and looked deflated. "You're right I didn't think. I'm so sorry. I'll take you home so you can have at least these last couple days with them properly."

Bella stared at Alice in disbelief. Two weeks of begging, pleading, manipulating and coaxing and she wouldn't give in. All Bella had to do was mention how she was missing out time with her mom and dad and she'd fold.

**VampLover: YEA, Alice is going to let me have the little time I have left with my parents.**

**SexyVampire: So she's freeing you?**

**VampLover: Yes, but I'm going to spend my last few hours with my mom and dad letting them know how much I love them and saying goodbye properly.**

**SexyVampire: I was hoping to have you back in my arms but that's a very good idea since after the wedding the odds of seeing them again aren't very high.**

**VampLover: I think it will help in some closure before my change. Plus it will keep us from fornicating right? ;-P**

**SexyVampire: Making fun of my generation now?**

**VampLover: Just a little. I'm just trying to keep us from committing sin is all.**

**SexyVampire: Oh ha ha ha. Well savor the time you have with your parents and I'll see you at the church in 29 hours.**

**VampLover: I'll be the one in white ok. Thank you for understanding. I love you so much.**

**SexyVampire: I love you too. Enjoy your visit.**

**SexyVampire has logged off.**

"Bella are you done talking to Edward? I'm finished packing, except the laptop then we can go. I'll drop you off at Charlie's so you can spend the remaining hours before the wedding with them." Alice started packing up the laptop when Bella turned it off and closed it.

"Look on the bright side Alice. Even if we are going back early I will still be away from Edward and you'll be able to be with Jasper." Alice's face lit up like a neon sign and Bella could almost see the scenarios of their reunion playing in her head, not a pretty picture for Bella.

"That is definitely something to be happy about," both girls laughed as they left the hotel and headed for Alice's Porsche. Once the car was loaded with luggage and passengers, they headed back to Forks.

2 weeks of separation, 2 weeks of online had definitely been 2 _LONG_ weeks of torture for at least 4 individuals.

_**THE END**_

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_**Chapter End Notes**_

So how was my first one-shot? Cute, stupid, annoying, what do you think? I'm not a chat room kind of girl so I'm guessing on how the text setup would look like.

I actually typed this out on my iPhone then edited it in Word, not bad for a phone right. Anyway, show me some love and comment on my unusually long one-shot. Depending on the response I get from this, will depend if I write my other planned one-shot: In A Perfect World.


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